I Don't Wanna Turn into a Girl!
by Meanae
Summary: Most of the characters in Naruto are only 12 at the begining of the show. It stands to reason that they all have their moments of acting it. This is misc. stories about them acting their age.
1. Sasuke gains a new idol

**I Don't Wanna Turn into a Girl!**

**Warning! Thought processes might be abnormal.**

**This fic is dedicated to Crimson Skies - thanks for the ideas**

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**Chapter One: The Start of a New Obsession**

After the Uchiha massacre, Sasuske didn't have any memories of Itachi that he considered special or important, except one. Yes, this memory was one that his too young for manhood depended on. He was too young to have a manhood when the last shred of belief in anything that Itachi had ever told him broke at the tender age of ten, yes ten. In fact it was Naruto who proved Itachi wrong on one subject. I bet you are now asking me, "How can anything that Naruto would have done at the age of ten prove Itachi wrong?" That or you thank this is another one of those preshow fluff jobs, which it isn't. To answer those who had the former in mind, because I probably have just lost all of those who had the latter in mind, Naruto for the very first time performed sexy-no-jutsu in the classroom. To answer the next logical question of "How did Naruto's sexy-no-jutsu prove Itachi wrong?" will take a trip into Sasuke's memories.

Please hold on as we go through the ripple. We are going through the ripple because I don't think I really want to know what kind of things resides in Sasuke's brain. Ah! Here is our stop. Watch your step, please, as we leave the ripple.

Alright we are now in Itachi's room. Please no stealing of Itachi-sama's things. We must leave all things as they are, for we don't know if stealing even that ball of lint will affect Itachi-sama's cool factor or even change events so as to make someone else less cool. After all, we don't want a morose Lee-san and a hyper Sasuke. Now everyone shush. I don't think you want to miss anything.

We are currently in Itachi-sama's room, like I had said earlier, because little Sasuke has a habit of hiding under Itachi's bed when he doesn't want to be seen or when ever he is frightened. I wonder if his innocent dependence on his older brother is why Sasuke took Itachi's defection so hard. (Cough) Anyway, Sasuke is currently hiding from his mom. Why? Let's find out.

Itachi's door opens and he stoops down to look under his bed. He smiles and says, "I knew you'd be there. Come on Sasuke, let's go. You've made Mom very worried about you."

"No!" Sasuke says in defiance.

"Why?" Itachi asks dumbfounded. Sasuke's never has said no to him before.

"I don't wanna go with Momma," Sasuke says.

"Well, then, how about you come out from under there and tell me why you don't want to go with Mom today. If your reason is good enough, I promise to find a way to make it so you don't have to go," Itachi says.

"Really?" Sasuke asks as he pokes his head out from under the bed.

"Yes, really," Itachi says with a smile.

"Okay," Sasuke says. He crawls out from under the bed and at Itachi's motion, they sit on the bed.

"So, why don't you want to leave with Mom today," Itachi says to get things going.

"I don't wanna turn into a girl!" Sasuke wails.

"Why do you think that you are going to turn into a girl?" Itachi asks dumbfounded. He really didn't see that one coming.

"I help Mom cook and clean and shop for stuffs," Sasuke says while ticking them off his fingers like he had seen other adults do before," and she always takes me places with lots of ladies. They always pinch my cheeks and say how cute I am and how much I've grown. And, I've heard Dad say that cooking and cleaning and shopping are women's work. So, Mom is trying to turn me into a girl!" He crosses his arms and starts pouting.

Itachi is to working hard not to laugh, so he is making it look like he is seriously thinking instead. After he gaining control again, Itachi says," Sasuke, you won't turn into a girl."

"Really," Sasuke says, looking relieved.

"Really, it's physically impossible for any boy to turn into a girl," Itachi says with a smile.

"Even going to baby showers?" Sasuke asks to make sure that he had heard correctly.

"Yes, even going to…" Itachi says before it catches up to him what Sasuke had said. Then he asks," Wait, is Mom really wanting to take you to a baby shower today?"

Sasuke nods his head and says," Aunt Ami is going to have a baby."

"How about we see if Mom will let you stay with me and learn ninja moves instead?" Itachi asks. No wonder Sasuke thought their mom was trying to turn him into a girl. Really, baby showers are no place for any boy.

"Really!" Sasuke almost shouts in his excitement.

As cute as this is, we need to get back to what I telling you at the beginning of this chapter. So as we go through the ripple again, I want you to know that the cute memory happened when Sasuke was only four years old. For six whole years Sasuke's future manhood was insured, but then Naruto had dispelled that illusion. Therefore, Sasuke decided that he should disregard all that his older brother's advice that does not have to do with ninja techniques and revenge; which explains his morose obsession with revenge and ninja techniques because even though he has disclaimed his older brother as being his older brother, some habits just won't stop. Such as his dependence on…

To get back to my story, Sasuke didn't think about Naruto much, until that day. Even then, he was so traumatized by the fact a boy could turn into a girl that he didn't remember who it was that caused his trauma in the first place and being the kind of person he is, he didn't ask around to find out who did. Also, he didn't stick around to listen to gossip for fear of never ridding himself of other scary trivialities that might be spoken of before they get to the information he wants. Thus we find ourselves with a twelve-year-old Sasuke wondering if it is Naruto's ability to become a girl whenever he wants is what has the village so hateful of Naruto. That couldn't be it, Sasuke thinks, because he runs the risk of changing into a girl with his willingness to do what his dad had deemed to be woman's work. Maybe the village doesn't know, or maybe it's a possible reason for their apparent dislike for Naruto. Regardless, Sasuke decided it would be his new mission to find just how it is that Naruto is able to control when and where he turns into a girl.

Somehow, through mostly disuse and the fact he never really cared to, Sasuke lost the ability to ask simple questions such as, "How did you turn yourself into a girl." The question, instead, comes out as, "How did you do that?"

Of course, then Naruto responds with, "Do what?"

Sasuke, feeling embarrassed and frustrated, grinds out a, "You know. Now tell me how you did **that.**"

To which Naruto, in equal parts annoyance and frustration, yells, "No, I don't know what you're talking about."

The Sasuke fanclub heard the "annoying troublemaker" yelling at their beloved idol, and then promptly beat Naruto up. That ended Sasuke's first attempt at finding out how Naruto turns himself into a girl.

Sasuke didn't find a reason to ask Naruto how he was able to change into a girl for quite a while. He usually couldn't get the words out. When that wasn't the problem, it was his incessant admirers' fault. Sasuke mentally cursed his unauthorized fanclub. They always insisted on "helping" him by beating Naruto up. On a side note, what did those girls think they would accomplish by beating Naruto up? Did they think that he'd appreciate their unintentional insinuation that they didn't think he could defend himself? Or, did they hope to turn him on with their double-faced actions? Shivering slightly, Sasuke concluded that girls are puzzling, which is the reason he doesn't want to turn into one. It wouldn't do for him to become what he hates, right?

In the interim of his quest to find out how Naruto turns into a girl, Sasuke had a worrying moment when Naruto was knocked into him. It resulted in disturbing thoughts for him, as well as Naruto getting beat up, once again. Sasuke idly wondered if Naruto had a special regenerative or healing jutsu that he used. Or, maybe, being able to turn into a girl helps him. Yes, that's it. All Naruto would have to do is leave a bunshin behind and leave as girl. Then all their searches to beat the dobe up would be in vain. … … …

…On second thought, maybe that isn't what Naruto would do. Firstly Naruto can't create a bunshin. Secondly, Sasuke really doubted Naruto could think up such a plan to begin with. It wasn't a bad idea though. Maybe he could use it himself, somehow…

A chance to ask Naruto that quite bothersome question finally came. As luck would have it they, Naruto and himself, were put on the same team. As bad luck would have it the creature known as Sasuke fangirl #1AS, in some circles referred to as Sakura Haruno, was also placed on his team. At least she wasn't as annoying by herself as she is when she is with her best friend/rival.

To get back on track, Sasuke's chance came the day all of team # 7 was accepted as gennin. While Sasuke was walking home after he had finished the dinner he had treated himself to, he noticed Naruto was still tied to the post. This is the best thing that could have happened for Sasuke's quest to find out how Naruto turns himself into a girl. He was laughing maniacally in his head as he walked to where the idiot was tied up.

"Hey, Hey, Sasuke please let me down?" Naruto pleaded when he noticed Sasuke was heading his way.

"Why should I, dobe?" Sasuke said with a smirk. He had to add the last part. It is just so much fun to see Naruto get upset.

"Don't call me dobe! Fine don't let me down either! I wouldn't want a jerk like you to help me anyway!" Naruto yelled. Okay, this isn't going according to plan.

Sasuke sighed and said, "I'll let you down if…" He couldn't ask it. He just now realized how stupid "can you tell me how you turn into a girl" sounds. Really what kind of person asks that sort of thing?

"If what?" Naruto asked in both curiosity and irritation.

"If you show me how you turned into a girl?" Sasuke asked while fighting down a blush. People like himself aren't allowed to blush.

"Eh? Sexy-no-jutsu?" Naruto asked confused. That was the last thing that Naruto honestly expected.

"Is that how you turned into a girl?" Sasuke asked. What do you know? It was a jutsu. A jutsu was what has been giving him grief for TWO whole years. A jutsu…

"Yeah, I made it up. It defeats all grown men!" Naruto boasted.

"Well teach it to me," Sasuke said. If he was doomed to turn into a girl, then by Kami-sama he was going to be in control of it. Note to self: find out if there is a god of revenge for the next time he makes such a bold proclamation.

"Then get me down," Naruto whined.

And so that is why their first day off found Naruto at Sasuke's house.

"Here I'll show you how I do it first," Naruto said. At Sasuke's nod, Naruto performed his jutsu.

This is an interesting jutsu. Sasuke performed kai. It's not really a henge. Sasuke poked Naruto's female form several time in several various spots. Naruto started to look like he was getting creeped out.

"Even as a girl you look stupid," Sasuke finally said.

"Hey! Who said he'd teach you this jutsu?" Naruto screeched. The jutsu even changed his voice, how odd. Sasuke wondered just what kind of jutsu this was.

Sasuke decided to try his luck and performed the jutsu only to fail. What? Not even a puff of smoke appeared!

"Hummm… Try again," Naruto said, "Maybe if I see you do it again I'll see what you did wrong." Naruto, in his normal form again, looked so serious and nonjudgmental that Sasuke didn't feel so self-conscious anymore. Not to be mistaken, he still felt embarrassed.

Sasuke tried the jutsu again only to once again fail, again!

"Okay I see," Naruto said, "Try this…" Naruto went into a lengthy and semi-complicated, complicated considering this is Naruto, explanation of the process that he goes through mentally, physically, and with his chakra when he performs sexy-no-jutsu. The lecture on how Naruto performs sexy-no-jutsu dispelled many of his main beliefs about Naruto. Such as sexy-no-jutsu being a stupid and badly thought up jutsu. It is stupid, but Naruto did put a lot of thought into the creation of his jutsu.

Learning the jutsu took longer than both Sasuke and Naruto originally thought it would. Sasuke was upset to find out that Konohamaru had taken less time to learn the jutsu. Eventually it was decided that Naruto would stay the night. It took that long.

Naruto, being his restless self, thoroughly explored all of the areas that Sasuke had allowed him into. In his explorations, Naruto found that Sasuke had a T.V. Since he had never had watched one before, Naruto begged and pleaded with Sasuke to allow "his guest" to please watch the T.V. Eventually, only to shut up his "guest", Sasuke allowed Naruto to watch the television.

Naruto flipped through the channels and soon settled on one show when he saw some animated characters fighting each other and flying through the air. With a cry of "cool" and "I wonder if I can learn that jutsu" Naruto quickly became engrossed with the show. When the show was almost over, Sasuke noticed that Naruto had fallen asleep. Blaming Naruto for the television being on in the first place, Sasuke finished the show. Then he started watching the next show. It was differed from the first in a really good way. It was futuristic while keeping things believable. That show was the start of a new obsession and gave Sasuke a new idol.

_Can anyone, besides Crimson Skies, guess what Sasuke's new obsession will be?_

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto


	2. They called it a fanclub

**I Don't Wanna Turn into a Girl!**

**Warning! This chapter may cause brain damage.**

**Dedicated to Crimson Skies - thank you for bouncing ideas around with me**

**Chapter two: And They Called it a Fanclub**

Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno were rivals only on the times that they remembered that they were. Otherwise you could call them best friends. Part of what led to this relationship was not only did they live only blocks away from each other, but their moms were best friends as well. It's hard not to be friends with the only person that you can play with when your mom brings you over so that she can visit with her best friend. Having said this, please don't be surprised to find out that the girls were actually hanging out together at Sakura's house and watching a marathon of an anime that Ino had found. Evidently it is a huge hit in the Mist Country. It isn't a surprising fact. It is a really cute anime series. Ino thought that the main character was too naïve and trusting, but then she would trade that girl living conditions in a heartbeat. The chance to live with three hot guys is something out of one of her dreams.

Though she didn't see how she could use any of the "values" that the show taught, she did get a great idea from it. Yes, she would start a Sasuke fanclub. She definitely wouldn't go to such extremes that the girls in the show did. Well… maybe a few. But the idea of a fanclub just in honor of Sasuke-kun was the best idea that she ever thought she had come up with, even if it is one stolen from someone else's idea.

After telling Sakura her idea, both girls got their heads together and thought out how they were going to get this club started. First they decided that some rules were in order. So they agree to a handful of rules and ideas of procedure. First in order to be in the fanclub, you have to fill out an application. Not that they would turn anyone down if they wanted to be in the club. No, they wanted to be able to introduce new members at the start of the member's first meeting and it would be nice to have an address if they ever decided to do anything such as hand out invitations to a picnic.

Next, they decided that they would make a rule about how to address Sasuke-kun. They decided it would be hard for them to invoke a "refer to him as Uchiha-san if you are such and such age" clause as some of the younger members might outrank them in the ninja food chain (even if it is unlikely, it could happen). So they decided that everyone must at the very least call him "Sasuke-kun." It's easier and most girls already do anyway.

Moving right along, the rules made go as the following:

1) Anyone can become a member of the Sasuke fanclub (who wouldn't want to?).

2) Everyone who is interested in becoming a fanclub member must fill out an application so they can participate in various activities.

3) All members of the Sasuke fanclub must report any time they see or interact with him and they must tell all of the details of the encounter.

4) All members of the Sasuke fanclub must agree that Sasuke is the #1 hottest guy to ever grace Kanohagakure in all of its history. Failure to comply with this statement will result in either suspension and trial, or rejection from the club.

Others were yet to come, but they thought that they had a pretty good handle on the important issues.

Soon they were seen handing out applications for their fanclub. The only one their age that didn't join was Hinata, but they figured that she was a little weird anyway… so her rejection of the fanclub was nothing to be concerned with. Other than that slight, things were looking up for their club.

Before their first club meeting, Sakura and Ino decided that they should number all of the members. That decision led to a huge argument about who was going to be the Sasuke fanclub member # 1. The argument was so bad that it postponed the actual starting date of the fanclub. After they got through mailing out letters of the change in club starting dates, Ino and Sakura decided that they would consult someone else to help with their problem. Since both of their moms, after hearing what the argument was about, wouldn't help them, they decided to ask the first person that they saw to help them. That person turned out to be Kiba's older sister. While finding out that stupidity isn't necessarily a genetic trait, they got their answer. It was simple really. After nicely listening to their problem, Kiba's sister said that they both could be member #1 and then explained how. Sakura would be member #1AS and Ino would be #1AI. That stood for #1alphaSakura and #1alphaIno. Kiba's sister explained that alphas were the top dogs in a pack. Since they both started the club and are going to co-lead the club together, they are both the top dogs of the club. Of course, (it goes without really saying it) there will be no other member #1 in their club.

Needless to say, the club started off without a hitch. As the two founders are becoming genin, the club reaches its third year anniversary. This year they all have decided to hold a potluck picnic. It was at this event that the club shared with each other some very disturbing news.

The Sasuke Fanclub has noticed a recent change in their obsession. All information gathered about the change was sadly confirmed by member #1AS via information given in her report. It was reported that Sasuke went from wearing a blue top and white knee length shorts to a black shirt and black knee length shorts. While the outfit looked stupid, it didn't mar Sasuke-kun's beauty. That wasn't the only change that occurred. Some of his speech patterns changed, as well as some of his mannerisms.

According to member #1AS, he tends to stare at nothing. Another change is that his face has become emotionless… well more than it was before. He used to show some emotions before, mostly boredom and irritation, but now… nothing…. Abso-freaking-lutely nothing. No scowls, no glares (except once in a while)… … …Okay the glares stayed. But they changed. They went from "you are annoying me glares" to "I will kill you" glares. That is creepy… in a really hot way. He may talk more, but the talking he does isn't any better than saying nothing at all.

His words now only and mostly contain "hn" (which isn't a big change as he said that before), "mission accepted" (said at the beginning of every mission), "I will kill you" (he has said that to Naruto exclusively - the girls in the fanclub hope that Sasuke will eventually accomplish that threat), "It is best to follow your emotions" (he only says that to Naruto when he had asked for advice and no one else; several members have tried to get him to say that to them only to be of no success), and "I will eliminate all obstacles" (which he has only said to his enemies or the occasional fanclub member that wouldn't leave him alone), and "mission accomplished" (said after each mission's completion).

The only people that Sasuke-kun will talk somewhat civilly to are Naruto (again with the Naruto exception) and his current sensei Kakashi. Those facts don't point to much hope for the United Official Sasuke Fanclub members. That or he's gay, which just isn't a possibility: no one that hot has any right to be gay! Needless to say, all members of the Sasuke fanclub hope that this is just a passing phase.

Umm… I'm sorry. I think I lost my place in this story. If you'll just hang on for a little bit (I personally don't know the allotted time given to a little bit, but…) I will try to find my reason for this chapter. Ah… Here we are! Once again I apologize for the wait. I hope it wasn't too dreadful for you. Please, let us start once again.

The Sasuke fanclub has for years tried to figure out if the object of their obsession has any preferences, such as long hair. Ino came up with the great idea that since it has been reported that Naruto and Sasuke have been forming a … … something… … a relationship of less than hateful intent, maybe a friendship, that Sakura, who just about everyone knows Naruto has a crush on, should ask Naruto to ask Sasuke who Sasuke's crush is. After Ino talked Sakura into asking Naruto this important question, Ino decided that she should go also just in case of Sakura's temper threatened to override the mission.

"So Sakura what is it you wanted to ask me," Naruto asked once the girls got the boy in a secluded spot. It wouldn't be good for their reputations to be seen willingly with the boy.

"Could you ask Sasuke something for us," Sakura asked blushing. Ino felt like strangling something. Sakura is too sappy when she talks about or to people she has a crush on.

"What?" Naruto asked warily. Does he suspect? Naw, Naruto isn't intelligent or anything like that.

"We want to know who Sasuke-kun has a crush on," Ino answered when she figured that she had only seen Hinata the shade of red that Sakura is currently sporting.

"Why don't you ask him yourself," Naruto said almost sneering at Ino.

"We know he wouldn't tell us, so we figured he'd tell you what girl he liked the best," Sakura said to try and keep the peace before the mission went to the wayside.

"We'll treat you to ramen," Sakura ejected out in desperation.

"Really?" Naruto asked.

"What girl he likes the best?" Naruto asked in confirmation.

"Yes, that's all," Ino said.

"Okay, I'll ask, but you're not getting your answer until I have my ramen," Naruto haggled.

"Deal," Ino said.

"So, Sasuke, … do you have a crush on any girl," Naruto asked after he and Sasuke were done training.

"No," was Sasuke's answer.

"Really?" Naruto asked in disbelief. Iruka had said that occasionally people don't find their first crush until they are older, but… wasn't Sasuke supposed to be more mature than him?

"Yep," Sasuke said. It was a good thing that Naruto had gotten used to these one-word answers. It did bug at one time, but now he is used to it … okay most the time it doesn't bug him.

"Oh. Do you just not like any girls?" Naruto asked now he truly is curious.

Sasuke shrugged his answer.

"Okay then, not that you have to have a crush on her or anything, but who is the girl you like or can stand the best," Naruto asked thoughtfully. Naruto was secretly glad that his curiosity is for once helping him out.

Sasuke, after quite a bit of contemplation, asked, "Why?"

"Well, I like Sakura-chan, you know that already. I was wondering if you were allergic to girls or if you just didn't like the ones that hang off of you," Naruto answered half truthfully.

Sasuke thought a while and then answered, "I don't like the ones that hang off of me. I suppose if I had to answer what girl that I like the best it would be Hinata for the simple fact that she has nothing ever to do with me."

"Oh. That makes sense," Naruto said. As he saw Sasuke leave, Naruto yelled, "See you tomorrow." To which Sasuke answered with a wave. After thinking for a while, Naruto met the girls at Ichiraku.

As soon as he was done with his dinner both of the girls assaulted Naruto with, "What did he say?"

"Pay the man first," Naruto said. He knew they wouldn't be happy with the news he had.

"Okay, now spill," Sakura said menacingly after the ramen was paid for. Naruto could almost swear that he saw a huge battle aura surround her.

"Hinata," Naruto said.

"What!" both girls screeched.

"He told me that the girl likes the best is Hinata," Naruto answered.

"Did he tell you why he likes her," Ino said with clear dislike of "her."

"Sasuke said that the fact that she has nothing ever to do with him is why he likes her the best," Naruto answered. The next course of action for the girls to take was clear to Naruto: leave the bastard alone.

"Is that all," Ino asked while Sakura was having a minor breakdown.

"Yep, and thanks for dinner ladies," Naruto said leaving. He decided that a clean get away is in high order.

Unfortunately, Ino and the rest of the Sasuke fanclub didn't even consider the same course of action that Naruto had thought of. Well, I guess it is fortunate for us because it makes this chapter that much longer. But for Hinata, it wasn't fortunate. As a great deal of you most likely have already guessed, they decided to follow Hinata around. Yes, they figured that the only way that they could possibly find out what it is that attracted their precious Sasuke-kun to a girl that isn't even a part of his own fanclub would be to follow her around. Even though none of their intelligence ever mentions Sasuke hanging around or showing any kind of meaningful interaction they of course they didn't believe Naruto when he said that what Sasuke-kun likes about Hinata is that he has nothing to do with her. Almost everyone knows that Naruto has a crush on Sakura. It's obvious that he only said that in an attempt to try and win Sakura's affection.

Therefore, the next several months were spent spy… I mean … doing reconnaissance work on one Hinata Hyuuga. So far they have found out that she hangs out with her teammates, that she for some reason follows Naruto around, and that she is really quiet. Some girls report that they felt that she knew that they were there, but that's impossible. It isn't like she has the ability to see through things and most definitely she can't see _anywhere_ behind her.

After trailing Hinata for a while they realized that she follows Naruto around more than what could be healthy. How could anyone follow someone around like that? With this not so new revelation of theirs, they decided that they should follo… I mean do reconisance work on Naruto to investigate what they have begun to call the Naruto-factor.

They have yet to figure out what makes up the Naruto-factor, but it always involves an incident where Naruto becomes an exception to previous believed rules. Every time one of the fanclub members would try to see if they themselves could be an exception it met with… let's just say it usually wasn't a pretty outcome. Poor, poor Midori (member # 49), for instance, has yet to get out of the hospital after calling Godaime-sama "Tsunade baa-chan." That is only one of the numerous instances of the Naruto-factor.

All right, I now admit they really didn't care about the Naruto-factor until after finding that not only does Sasuke-kun hold Naruto to exception, but Hinata does as well. As they were currently stal… doing reconisance work on Hinata, they decided to split up forces to see what is so special about Naruto. Naruto was as unspectacular as they thought he'd be. All he does is train, eat (usually ramen), and play games with children. They couldn't figure out where his house was, so they had no reports as to what he might do there. Three things led to the halting of all reconisance work on Naruto. First was they decided that he didn't do anything special and the members trailing him were getting bored. Secondly they realized that fol… doing reconisance work on him was the opposite of what they should be doing. That and the members tailing Hinata kept meeting up with the members trailing Naruto. Thirdly and most importantly, their moms got upset when they found out that they were following Naruto around and threatened to ground them. So all reconisance work on Naruto was brought to a halt. Reconisance work on Hinata hadn't stopped though.

By the time three months had passed, they had found out very little outside of their initial observations of Hinata. She has no contact with Sasuke-kun what so ever and when she does she only waves "hi" and promptly leaves. Sure Sasuke nods his head in acknowledgement of her existence, which is more than he ever does for any of the Fanclub members, but they don't have anything else to do with each other. The only reason they kept it up for so long was in case they can find out what is so special about her. There has to be something special about her: their Sasuke-kun likes her best!

One day, toward the end of the three total months that the club had been following her around, Hinata walked right up to the place where they were hiding and said, "Um… You guys have been following me for the past three months. I haven't said anything because I thought you guys would eventually get tired of following me around. I have been keeping Kiba-kun and Akamaru from attacking you guys because I didn't think you guys were causing any harm. I have decided to ask you all to quit following me please."

"Uh… so why are you asking us today instead of doing so earlier?" Ino asked perplexed.

"Shino-kun has gotten tired of you guys following us and has asked me to ask you all to quit following me around," Hinata said.

"So just because Shino tells you to you do it," Ino said in an attempt to cover the fact that Hinata not only surprised her but she also is embarrassed at being caught.

"No," Hinata said calmly, "I doing it because Shino doesn't get annoyed easily. That and you guys have been creeping me out since the second week you guys started following me around."

"Oh," was the very elegant response.

The group decided to leave the poor girl alone before she decided to ask why they were following her around. What would they say anyway? That they were because they heard Sasuke has a crush on her? She and Sasuke don't do anything together except live in the same village and like Naruto. Why were they following her for so long anyway? Blast it! They have gone three months on the only Sasuke news being from Sakura. The long dead kyuubi must have gotten a hold of their senses.

Well… it's time to rectify matters. Yes, it time to start doing what they all do best: spy… er… do reconnaissance work on Sasuke-kun.

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_I think it might be easier to guess who Sasuke's new idol is now._

_I'd like to give a special thanks to smith119 and Foxtail-inferno for reviewing my last chapter. I would also like to give a special thanks to kaolla asukura for putting "I Don't Wanna" on his or her favorite story list. Thanks all three of you._

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

Fruits Basket © Natsuki Takaya


	3. In Which Sasuke Endeavors To Dress Like

Don't Want to Turn into a Girl!

**Warning! Males, generally speaking, should not wear spandex.**

**Dedicated to: my sister for never quite getting the hang of "bad guy" laughing, one of my brothers for wanting to look like his favorite anime character, my mom for thankfully talking said brother out of wearing spandex shorts, and my friend Crimson Skies for appreciating my kind of humor.**

Chapter three: In Which Sasuke Endeavors To Dress Like His Idol 

Sasuke's new idol has a lot of things in common with himself, Sasuke thought. His new idol, though he doesn't have a fanclub in the show, knows the pains of having a fangirl. Sasuke figured that his idol's fangirl was bad enough to constitute a fanclub in some ways. His idol knows how to be efficient on missions and fight impressively. His new idol looks really cool as well. Sasuke wants to be almost exactly like his idol.

After watching a couple episodes of his newly favorite show, Sasuke researched how he could get a hold of all the episodes of the show. He found that though Fire Country just recently started showing the episodes, Mist country has already finished the whole series as well as a movie. Needless to say, most of Sasuke's first and second paychecks went toward buying and shipping his precious videos.

When they arrived, Sasuke spent his next day off watching a marathon of his newly acquired copy of his favorite show. After the marathon was over, Sasuke made some notes and lists regarding how he could be more like his idol and what mistakes his idol made that he won't make.

Among one of his lists were the following:

Find out if Kanoha sells green tank tops and black spandex. If there is a place to buy them, find out where they are.

Never tell any female "I will kill you"; you will never be rid of them.

Find a way to hide shuriken and kunai on self so others can't see it.

Only trust comrades that have proven they're worth that trust.

Find out why pink is such a scary color.

After he finished preparing his to do lists, Sasuke scoured through his closets and drawers to what would look the closest to his idol's choice in clothing. He found that he has no jeans, no black spandex shorts, no green tank tops, no tank tops of any kind, and no jean jackets. All right, that wouldn't deter him from reaching his goal of looking somewhat like his idol. Nope, not at all so he looked at what he did have and made comparisons from that. While not spandex, Sasuke did find a pair of black shorts he could use. Also he found that he had a black top with white on the inside the collar that made the shirt look similar to his second favorite character's shirt. His second favorite character vaguely reminded him of someone he knew, he just couldn't place who it was.

When he showed up at the bridge to wait for Kakashi-sensei he did his best to ignore his comrades reactions, even when Sakura wouldn't quit cooing about his new outfit. Thankfully Naruto provided a distraction for her when he said, "I don't see what is so special about his clothes. They look like regular old clothes to me."

Sakura took offence where Sasuke was grateful and promptly had to convince or beat the errors that she saw in Naruto's reasoning. All the while Sasuke tried to keep a straight face and ignore them. It is definitely harder to do than it looks.

After Kakashi-sensei had finally showed up (Sasuke is certain that one day Kakashi-sensei is going to completely forget to show up) and outlined the day's mission, Sasuke answered with a, "Mission Accepted". Naruto gave him a strange look as if to say, "what are you up to now?" and Kakashi looked like he was smiling in amusement. Sakura had to of course add in her, "Ah, yes! I accept this mission too!" She annoys Sasuke a lot. By the end of the week everyone had accepted Sasuke's new behavior as his new normal behavior, which suited him just fine.

Incidentally, Sasuke's quest for black spandex shorts took longer and met with different results than he originally expected. First off, when he asked Kakashi-sensei if there were any stores that would sell spandex shorts, Sasuke was treated to the first time ever that he had ever seen his sensei frightened. Well… maybe not frightened, but definitely spooked. Then Kakashi-sensei told him never to ask that question again and, "I don't want to **ever** see you wear spandex. **Ever**. In fact spandex is **_evil_**. So don't ever speak of that again." Then Kakashi-sensei vanished never to be seen until the next day at the usual time and place. In fact Sasuke thought he overheard Naruto complaining the next day about Kakashi-sensei stealing Iruka-sensei from him, in the middle of their usual ramen time, to be comforted from the evils out there.

…Sasuke doesn't know why his teacher is so weird. Can his instructor ever take anything seriously?

Anyway… The next problem of course came trying to find time to search Kanoha for the shop while simultaneously avoiding the creatures that prey on any news of him. Why didn't he take advantage of that three-month period that they left him alone? He knew that he would eventually seek out spandex shorts. So why didn't he buy them when he would have been able to without a following? Why did he do so much research for being more like his idol? It didn't need to take three months. Three whole months!

–Cough – Please excuse the minor breakdown.

Eventually Sasuke found someone that would know where he could buy spandex, but the source made him wonder if that was the reason for Kakashi-sensei's phobia of spandex. You most likely have guessed his source already, but I'll tell you anyway. He met Lee Rock and his sensei Gai. He initially was weary of asking them, but his need to look like his idol over rid his initial concern.

When he asked, Lee was ecstatic to show Sasuke where he gets his spandex outfit. But he told Sasuke to wait until Gai-sensei could take them because Gai-sensei said to "never go into that store without me there". It took a month until both of his guides and his days off where the same.

"Ah so Sasuke-san have you come to understand how great spandex can be?" Lee asked as they walked toward the store. Luckily today Sasuke's fanclub was having a daylong potluck meeting. He had Naruto and Lee check to make sure Sakura had told the truth. It rarely pays to have someone from your own unauthorized fanclub on your team, and this was one of the few instances where it did.

"I don't know what you mean," Sasuke answered.

"Why did you want to know where a spandex store is?" Lee asked.

"An anime character I want to be like to wears black spandex shorts," Sasuke answered.

"Ah, that is a fine reason to want spandex shorts," Gai says with his sparkly teeth. How those two manage that Sasuke is still trying to figure out. It definitely isn't a jutsu…

"Ah, yes Sasuke-san it is fine to look like those who you admire," Lee said barely containing his sparkles. Sasuke wondered briefly who Lee looks up to and decided it wasn't even worth the time to pretend that he doesn't know.

Luckily it was only a fifteen-minute walk from the spot that three had met at. That and the fact that they were so busy exalting the greatness of the "spring time of youth" that they weren't offended by Sasuke's untalkativeness. Actually Sasuke doubted that they noticed whether or not he was talking unless they asked him a direct question. They weren't so bad to be around, but he could see why Kakashi-sensei would go out of his way to avoid them at times. To put it nicely, they definitely are unique.

When Lee mentioned a store that sells spandex, Sasuke was expecting a sports clothing store. The inside of the store was not like anything that Sasuke had anticipated. He should have suspected something when Lee mentioned that he isn't allowed to come here without Gai. He understands why and is glad that he didn't come alone or with just Lee with him. This place could be synonymous with "gay clothing store".

After Lee had left to try on an outfit that he thought would look nice, Gai took Sasuke aside and said, "I know what you're thinking young one."

Sasuke really doubted that Gai knew what he was thinking but he let the man continue anyway, "I know a lot of homosexual men shop here, but this store sells some really comfortable clothing. I would appreciate it if you don't explain to cute young Lee that the men here aren't just being nice to him. He is so naïve and pure that even though it doesn't bother him what a person prefers, he thinks that because he prefers female that no male would flirt with him or hit on him. He has a different sense of the rules."

"And that is why you told him to never come here without you," Sasuke finished.

"Yes. It my duty not only see to it that Lee stays this innocent, but that he doesn't get hurt because of it," Gai spieled.

"Alright, I won't tell Lee," Sasuke promised.

"Ah, I thank you Sasuke-kun," Gai said and did his sparkly good guy poise. Luckily Lee was ready to leave not long after that conversation. Sasuke decided that he didn't want to ever think of wearing spandex again. Yes, in fact he is going to do his best to forget that he ever did want to wear spandex. Now he really understands Kakashi-sensei's fear of spandex.

Next on his list for his quest to look like his idol included finding a pair of jeans, a green tank top and a jean jacket. This turned out to be easier and less traumatizing. Sasuke didn't even once consider asking Kakashi-sensei. He didn't want to know if there where any other odd phobias that his instructor had. Oddly enough it was Naruto that directed him towards a store that sold all three.

It turns out that the only place that Naruto goes to do all of his clothes shopping is a discount clothing store. It sells sheet sets, pillows, towels, and other various things as well. While Naruto told Sasuke that this was the only place that he could afford to buy from, the truth was that this was the only place that he could afford that would let him buy from them. There was another discount clothing store, but they wouldn't let him buy there because of a supposed "no animal" policy that keeps him out. He saw them let Kiba _with_ Akamaru shop there, so Naruto believes it to be another reason. For the sake of his own principles, Naruto wouldn't tell Sasuke about that _other_ place. So, Hah! They just lost the great Uchiha's patronage because they didn't let him, the amazing Naruto, go there.

Sasuke wonders why Naruto is laughing maniacally. Well… it is at least what Sasuke thinks is Naruto's version of a maniacal laugh. Instead of his laugh being "Mwahahaha" it is "Mwaheheeheeheee", or was it more like "Kukukukukuku" that his laugh sounded like. Strange. Who would want to laugh like that? Maybe Naruto is too much a good kind of person to maniacally laugh properly. That, or it is just another thing that Naruto just can't do properly. Whatever the reason, Sasuke just hopes that what ever is the reason for Naruto's maniacal like laughter isn't something that will hurt him in the long run. Sasuke began to plan strategic exit points all around him continuously just in case Naruto has finally decided to snap and go on a rampage of not so evil evilness.

When they finally got to the store, Sasuke decided that he should stop trying to anticipate the insides of the store based on who brought him there. The store was a normal looking store. There wasn't clothing of weird and unusual style there, for the most part. Sasuke could see a rack toward the back that held jogging suits similar to Naruto's. At least the had the green tank top, jeans, and jean jacket he was looking for. Sasuke went home a mostly happy Sasuke that night. In fact, if **that man** were dead, it would be the second happiest day of his life, the first being that he actually killed **that man**.

Oddly enough, or just for the convenience of my fic, the first time that Sasuke wore that outfit was to a Halloween party. All right, it wasn't a Halloween party, but that is what Naruto called it. Sasuke thinks that Naruto meant a costume or masked party, but everyone who was invited and came understood what Naruto had meant. None of them really had the heart, or patience, to correct him on that matter. That and it was the first party that he had ever held. Sasuke was only one of the people that Naruto enlisted to help him. Sasuke doesn't quite remember how he got roped into it, but he did what he could. The others that ended up helping Naruto with his party were Iruka-sensei and Tsunade-hime. How Naruto manages to gain such wide variety and weird bunch of friends is something Sasuke has long ago quit trying to figure out. Mostly because that question implies that he himself might be weird and Sasuke isn't sure he likes the implications of that.

Anyway, Sasuke ended up helping Naruto hand out invitations, pick out a costume, and clean up after the party. Tsunade-hime and Iruka-sensei helped Naruto put up decorations and gather together the food for the party. The party was a success, according to Naruto. For Sasuke it was a disaster. First all of those… … … …

I'm sure you guy don't want to know all the tiny details of Naruto's "Halloween" Party, so I'll just tell you the major ones. First off, Naruto insisted on a washtub to be used for a dunking apples station. Sasuke thinks that is a result of Naruto's delusions about the party being of the Halloween nature.

Second, even though he had already scoped out a good hiding… I mean – observation spot, it didn't do Sasuke any good as he showed up late. As a result, Sasuke could not find a good time to go to his hid… - observation spot without bringing attention to it.

Third, it seems that looking like his idol brings him more attention than normal. It seems that the tank top shows too much skin than is healthy for the fangirl population. Because they wouldn't quit talking about his muscles, Sasuke put on his jacket. As a result Sasuke fainted from overheating. Naruto was kind enough to put him up for the night, but still…

That is why Sasuke never wore that outfit again. Oh! If you want to know what happened during the party, you're out of luck. That is another story, so please your imagination. Mine temporally quit on me.

_I apologize that this took so long. Between the college term starting up again and distractions from my muses… Sasuke dragged me around and then Naruto insisted on a Halloween party and wouldn't tell me what happened. I wish my muses would make up their minds better. Thanks to all of you who reviewed, I probably would have lost motivation to post if you guys hadn't and if I hadn't Crimson Skies prolly would have bugged me till I did. She is so good to me. Carrot-six and Frontier of Darkness get cyber brownies for guessing correctly about Sasuke's idol. Micheal gets cyber pocky for catching the DBZ reference in ch. one, though he was only half correct, Naruto was watching that show. I thought it was a show that Naruto would get into._

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

Gundam Wing © SOTSU AGENCY - SUNRISE – ANB and the various manga-ka

DBZ© Akira Toriyama


	4. In Which Naruto Understands

I Don't Want to Turn into a Girl!

**Warning! There are guys that are prettier than Sakura.**

**Dedicated to my friend Crimson Skies for showing me the site that holds my inspiration for this chapter, and Carrot6 for being such an awesome reviewer.**

Chapter four: In Which Naruto Understands 

What is seen in the anime and manga as to how Sasuke confronts his brother is what happens in Kishimoto-sensei's wonderful manga and anime series called Naruto. In my story "I Don't Wanna Turn Into a Girl" that scene happens differently. Some of my story is similar to Kishimoto-sensei's Naruto series.

It started because, as most of us know, Itachi-sama and Kisame-san were seeking out Naruto. Most of us know that the two Akatsuki members wanted something of the kyuubi sealed inside of Naruto. What they had planned to do once they had gotten Naruto… um… well that isn't the current focus.

Once Sasuke had found out that he had missed his chance to confront his technically denounced brother while said denounced brother, and companion, where in Kanoha, Sasuke was more furious than I have ever been. When Sasuke found out that Naruto was in danger of his no longer his older brother, and companion, doing what he imagined to be unspeakable things to his trusted comrade. Actually he imagined a lot of nothing that happened to have a lot of evil connotations. He didn't know why in the nine hells his… something that isn't related to him older brother, and companion, would want with his something that is remarkably like a friend, but he knew that is was something that has a nefarious reason behind it. After all, the unspeakable person did manage to kill his own family, and clan, without any feeling. And who knows what knows what kind of un-nice things that the unmentionable person's comrade is capable of. To be that close to Itachi though, it just means it has to be something illegal somewhere, or many somewheres even!

So… Sasuke rushed to meet up with them. Naruto is a trusted comrade; therefore it was his self-given responsibility to help keep said comrade safe. His bro… someone that isn't related to him is an issue that is layered, important only in the concept of killing, and a task that has been long ignored (when Sasuke rarely deemed to do something that took his mind off of his normal angst time as all other time was spent in preparation for this moment).

Sasuke ran and rushed and thankfully got there before his brother. Sasuke slammed the hotel room open… only to find that he had found the wrong people, wrong room, and wrong hotel. –Cough- Let's just forget this little slight and try this over again.

He rushed up the many flights of stairs (the elevator wasn't broken, it's just more dramatic this way). As he finally reach the third floor hallway Itachi was knocking on Naruto's door. Naruto did his cute confused head tilt and asked, "Sasuke?" He looked like he was trying to ask, "How did Sasuke get so tall so fast?"

"Hello Naruto-kun," Itachi said politely.

"Itachi!" Sasuke yelled from where he was still trying to catch his breath. What? Running from Kanoha to the wrong hotel and then up three sets of stairs will do that to a person.

"Ah, brother I haven't seen you for so long. You have gotten taller," Itachi said quite congenially.

"You lied to me!" Sasuke nearly yelled.

"What do you mean? You have gotten taller," Itachi asked confused. Kisame was confused as well, except his confusion was for a different reason.

"You have a brother, Itachi?" Kisame asked somewhat hurt that he didn't know this earlier.

"Yep, I didn't think I would see him so soon," Itachi said. He was bordering on sparkling. Not the sparkling that Lee and Gai do. No, it was closer to the shoujo-I'm-in supposed-love sparkles kind of sparkling. Kisame rolled his eyes as he was already used to such behavior from Itachi.

"Aniki, you lied to me," Sasuke said almost pouting at being ignored. Some habits are ingrained.

"What did I lie about?" Itachi asked.

"You said, 'It is impossible for any boy to turn into a girl.' You were wrong," Sasuke said.

"What do you mean? It is impossible for any boy, or man, to turn into a female," Itachi said perplexed.

"Naruto, show my brother that jutsu," Sasuke said.

"Brother… That's a boy?" Naruto asked pointing to Itachi.

"Yes," Itachi, Sasuke, and Kisame all said simultaneously.

"But… He's so pretty," Naruto said.

"Thank you!" Itachi said sparkling. Kisame rolled his eyes. Deciding that this was going to take a while, Kisame leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. Sasuke looked at his brother closely and decided Naruto had a point: his brother could pass for a sister. Sasuke made a note to himself to never grow his hair out.

Trying to get back to the point of his accusation, Sasuke said, "Naruto show Itachi **that** jutsu."

"Um… What jutsu," Naruto asked. He was glad for a distraction from thoughts of guys who are prettier than Sakura-chan.

"You _know_, the one that you're famous for," Sasuke said exasperated. He didn't want to say the name of the jutsu… It would be embarrassing!

"Kage buunshin no jutsu?" Naruto asked. What would be the point in replicating himself right now?

"No! The one that you taught me!" Sasuke nearly yelled in frustration. Really, why, when it really mattered, does nothing go the way he'd like it to. It's like something out there is laughing at him.

"Oh! Sexy no jutsu," Naruto exclaimed happy that he most likely had got it right this time.

"Yes, Show my brother that jutsu," Sasuke said.

"Why?" Naruto asked. He didn't see the point.

"To prove him wrong. Don't ask how it would. Please just show him the jutsu. Just show him the jutsu, please," Sasuke pleaded. Some days… Some days…

After a little complaining and grumbling for a little while, Naruto performed the jutsu.

Once Naruto's girl form showed up, Sasuke pointed at the boy turned girl and said, "See, you lied."

Itachi looked stunned, not only because he was wrong, but also because he was wrong about something that he previously thought was biologically impossible. After Itachi regained his sensed, he performed kai. "Not a genjustu," Itachi mumbled. Then Itachi proceeded to poke Naruto in various places. Meanwhile Kisame had passed out due to blood loss from a nosebleed.

"Does poking me in this form run in the Uchiha blood or is it just a pervert thing?" Naruto exclaimed feeling thoroughly creeped out and outraged. "First Sasuke-teme, then Ero-sennin, and now girly-Itachi and I had thought all guys were weak to this jutsu," Naruto ranted.

"What do you mean?" Itachi asked.

"I beat the old-man hokage with this jutsu," Naruto said quite proud of himself. The stance he took while saying that, looked strange on the nude girl figure Naruto was still in.

"Ah, I see. Naruto-kun, your jutsu doesn't work on me because I don't like girls that way. Your Ero-sennin is probably Jiraiya-sama," Itachi paused and then continued after seeing Naruto's nod in confirmation, "Jiraiya-sama is a famous super pervert, so that is why your justu isn't as effective on him. As for my dear little brother, he either hasn't hit puberty yet… Or he is more like me than I originally thought. That is a good jutsu Naruto-kun. Can you teach it to me?"

"Wait a minute! Hello! Remember the whole point of him doing that jutsu to begin with was to show how you lied to me," Sasuke said. It is now official, today just isn't his day, at all.

"Oh, I guess I was wrong," Itachi said nonchalantly. Naruto went back to his normal self as Kisame started stirring. Naruto figured that it wouldn't be good to make the only _normal_ guy around here pass out, that and he was starting to get cold anyway.

"Is that all you're going to say?" Sasuke asked incredulously. There should have been more said, like… He didn't know right now, but Itachi should have said something more than that.

"Yes, it's not like this proved to be something life changing. Oh, Naruto-kun can you _please_ teach me that justu?" Itachi said with the last part being asked sweetly.

That was it. First his brother was wrong, then his brother didn't say anything to make things better, and now he is pestering Naruto. Why that last one bothered him, Sasuke wasn't sure, but it bothered him just the same. This will not do.

"Itachi!" Sasuke yelled. He wasn't sure what he was going to do yet, but it's going to be bad.

"Sasuke-kun I don't have time for you right now, could you wait a while?" Itachi said before going back to pleading Naruto to teach him sexy-no-jutsu.

And that sentence was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. It was then that Sasuke remembered his life's calling and the reason for broody nature. With a yell of "I will kill you Itachi!" Sasuke charged at Itachi.

I am certain that you all know how this ends, but Sasuke really should have known better. He did say that today just wasn't his day. Oh, and if you don't know how it ends, I suggest reading all about it at The fan translations are so much better, in my opinion, than the stuff in the stores. Anyway, let us get back to the story.

Naruto was so busy between learning a new jutsu and helping Ero-sennin to convince Tsunade baa-chan to become the Godaime that he didn't really think about the conversation that had ended with Sasuke in a coma. Now that both Thick-brows and Sasuke are now going to be alright, Naruto was able to give serious thought to that conversation to see if he could make it any less confusing. After several days of picking apart what happened and what was said, Naruto found himself with question that he was in dire need of getting answers for. That is what started Naruto's quest for answers.

He wondered if there are people who are of a transgendered nature. Sasuke was evidently upset at Itachi because boys can turn into girls… or something like that. Is that why Sasuke had him teach him sexy-no-jutsu? Why Itachi wanted to learn it? How much of a girl does he turn into when he uses sexy-no-jutsu?

After some… (cough) …experimentation, Naruto wondered if that counted as masturbation or… um… **never mind**!

So now the question Naruto is left with is: What makes a boy a boy and a girl a girl? Haku and Itachi both looked prettier than any girl he had ever seen, and Sasuke keeps looking prettier every day. Sakura and Tsunade-baba, as well as several other "girls", can hit as good as any boy and some cases, they can hit better than most guys. So, really, what makes a girl a girl and a boy a boy?

Therefore, armed with that crucial question, Naruto asked Sakura if she was really a girl. And promptly he was beat up. As there was only one other "female" that he knew well enough to be comfortable enough to ask such a question to, Naruto went to visit Tsunade.

"Baa-chan, are you really a girl?" Naruto asked.

At first Tsunade was going to hit Naruto and yell at him for asking such a stupid question, but he was so serious looking that instead she asked, "What do you mean by that?"

After Naruto explained his plight, Tsunade-hime decided that Naruto needed a lecture on "the birds and the bees" before Jiraiya or some other pervert, Kakashi, found out his lack of sexual education. No Naruto is such a sweet boy that he doesn't need those two setting him on the wrong path.

One detailed, three-hour-long lecture type explanation on the differences between males and females and how babies are made later, Naruto numbly left the Hokage tower. He blindly walked into the center of the town and stopped there to do some very effective staring at nothing. So traumatize was Naruto that he stayed there for there, staring at nothing and lost in oblivion, for the rest of the day. That is how Sasuke found Naruto on his way home from training.

Seeing Naruto like that worried Sasuke. Sasuke waved his hand in front of Naruto's face several times. When that didn't work, Sasuke poked him a couple of times. When that brought about no result also, Sasuke said "Dobe, why are you standing around like a general idiot?" When that brought no results, Sasuke started to panic. So Sasuke, in his mild panic, decided to shake Naruto and shout his name.

Responding to hearing his name, Naruto said, "Hn, Sasuke?" Naruto looked around and noticed where he was and that the sun was setting and asked, "What are you doing here? And what time is it."

"It's six in the evening and I'm on my way home," Sasuke answered and then asked, "What's wrong?"

Naruto thought for a few seconds and then wailed, "I don't wanna turn into a girl!"

Sasuke put a consolatory hand on Naruto's shoulder and empathetically said, "I know how you feel."

"Really?" Naruto asked with hope shining bright in his eyes as he looked at Sasuke.

"Yes, really, I do. Come on, you can stay the night at my house. And on our next day off, I'll show you what I do to cope," Sasuke said solemnly.

Naruto hugged Sasuke and said, "Thank you so much. I knew that there was a good reason why you're my best friend."

Sasuke just hugged Naruto back glad to have genuine human contact with a trusted individual. When they let go of the hug, Sasuke said, "Sure, it's no problem. People like us have to stick together." Whether he meant it was people who understood the fear of being trasgendered or something else, Sasuke didn't know. It didn't matter anyway because Naruto seemed to instinctively know what Sasuke meant, which made him feel warmly peaceful. With a rare genuine smile, Sasuke said, "Come on, let's go now." And so they left.

--------------------------------

Hello everyone. I apologize that it took so long to get this out. Thank you, all of you, for being so patient. Anyway I got a huge amount of inspiration, originally, from an awesome artist that goes by the name Sora-ko. You should check her out sometime. She has a way of pulling off good jokes. You can find the fan comics that inspired the hallway scene at: & I almost added something else for Itachi's answer to Naruto's question of why sexy-no-jutsu didn't defeat Itachi, but I was already scamming so much from Sora-ko that I decided not to. Thank you every one who reviewed, it really kept me intent on putting this on the computer. That and Crimsonskies was looking like she might hurt me if I didn't. I have one, maybe two depending on my muses but I doubt it, chapters to go for this story. I am glad that so many of you like my story.

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto


	5. The End of the Sasuke Fanclub

I Don't Want to Turn into a Girl!

**Warning! This story is at its end.**

**Dedicated to my first anime heroes Trowa Barton and Heero Yuy, somehow they shall always have that small part in my life, and, also, to Tohru Honda who is my current hero.**

Chapter five: The End of the Sasuke Fanclub

Sasuke was at a standstill. The stupid cursed seal was whispering things to him. Well, not exactly whispering things to him so much as twisting his own thoughts, as if someone else were whispering to him. Also the creep who gave the cursed seal to him, Orochimaru, had sent some of his lackeys to test and entice Sasuke, which is both working and disgusting him all at the same time. Things were starting to feel like those showdowns where everyone is waiting for one or the other person to make their move just so you can figure out who'll win. The worst part is trying to figure out what it is that he should do. Firstly he needs to get stronger. His confrontation with both Gaara and his brother showed him that he couldn't kill his said brother at his current strength.

Next he needs to figure out which decision would bring about the best results for his future. Heero may have started out trying to kill himself, but in the end, especially during Endless Waltz, he really did try to live for the future. So like Heero, Sasuke wants to do something that would help his future.

An idea came to Sasuke while he was watching another marathon of Gundam Wing with Naruto. By now most of the characters have become his favorite. His absolute favorite is still Heero, but he admires things about several of the others as well. While taking a page from two of the characters, he decided upon a plan. He only hoped that Naruto would understand.

After finishing his plan, Sasuke nudged Naruto to signal that he could use the guest room again before going to bed in his own room.

-----------------------

When Naruto got home for the first time after his first failed mission, he found a note addressed to him in his mailbox from Sasuke. At first Naruto was so upset at what Sasuke had done that he refused to read the letter, as if by not reading the letter he was ignoring the one who wrote it. Once the very presence of the letter was too much to ignore, Naruto tried to tear the letter into itty-bitty pieces, several times in fact. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. Then Naruto started to rant at the letter. Finally Naruto read the note wondering why Sasuke would bother to write him a letter before going on to…

Having read the letter Sasuke had left for him, Naruto felt better about the future. The hardest part would be keeping the letter and the plan described in it a secret. He fell asleep while thinking about the plan they were going to enact in the future.

After Naruto had been asleep for some time, Kakashi came into Naruto's apartment through an open window. Kakashi was so incredibly glad that his student was safe and alive. He'd been having a nightmare about his former comrades earlier and had to check up on the only student that he could. Whatever possessed Sasuke to do something like he did was something that Kakashi couldn't figure out.

Kakashi smiled briefly when Naruto turned around in his sleep and mumbled something about ramen. It is surprising how much Naruto reminds him of Obito. They both are in his memories as being mostly smiling idiots who are at their most impressive when it's needed most and they care so much for their comrades, probably more than is deserved in some cases.

Kakashi felt like a failure. There should have been something he could have done to prevent the events that took place. Something, anything, yet… He can't think of anything he could have done different. Not that he would have been able to do anyway. He just is going to work to do better in the future. Because… he doesn't want to find any of his students so near death ever again.

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The official Sasuke fanclub was disbanded shortly after Sasuke's defection from Kanoha. There was one that was started in Sound about that same time, but this story will not be talking about that.

The Sasuke fanclub was disbanded and all across Kanoha hearts were broken while managing to be both disappointed and mad at Sasuke for leaving Kanoha. Yep, it was a sad time in Kanoha for the girls. They tried to change the Sasuke fanclub into another fanclub, but the results were almost as disappointing as Sasuke's departure was.

They initially tried to change their focus to Neji at first. It seemed like a natural choice too. The problem came when they tried to do reconnaissance work on him. Sure most, if not – all, of them knew by now that Hyuugas could see behind themselves, but Neji wasn't as nice as Hinata was. To be more accurate, during their first reconnaissance work on him, Neji told them, "I don't want a fanclub. If I catch any of you following me around like you girls did with that backstabbing traitor, you will not like the consequences."

So the Neji fanclub was yanked to a grinding halt before it gained any momentum. Then there was an anonymous request for a Kakashi fanclub, which was promptly discarded with a resounding "Eeewww!" much to Ayame's (from Ichiraku Ramen) disappointment. The last request taken was given by Hinata, which because it was Naruto she wanted the fanclub to about, it was also shot down immediately.

It came to the point that they had to realize that there would be no replacing the Sasuke fanclub. Yet, they all wanted to continue to get together to things together. There are so few kunoichi compared to male ninjas. They really just wanted some atmosphere where they could all commiserate and share things with each other. They didn't know what to call it, so after some voting and serious consideration the new club was dubbed the Kunoichi Club. It's not the most original name, but it does serve its purpose. This club Hinata and several older kunoichi joined. The older kunoichi would have joined if the club had been the Kakashi fanclub, but alas it was never to be.

After the club's focus had changed, they found that they had more time to do at lot of the fun things they couldn't before. Reconnaissance work had apparently taken up more time than they had originally thought.

A year or so after the Kunoichi club had started; a party that would bleed into a sleep over was taking place. After the party had died down and only those who were staying the night were left, a game of truth or dare had begun.

"So, Ino, truth or dare," Sakura taunted.

"Dare," Ino answered haughtily, as if daring Sakura to do her worst.

"Okay, I dare you… to…," Sakura bit her lip as she tried to think of a really good dare, "Oh! I know. I dare you to call up Lee-san and tell him that you think his eyebrows are cute."

There was an echo of "eeewwww" that went across the room.

"Put it on speaker phone; I want to hear his reaction," Tenten said as Ino was dialing Lee's phone number. Ino growled in response.

"Hello, this is the Rock residence and I, Lee, is speaking," Lee said.

"Hi," Ino said with the sexiest voice she could muster under the circumstance, "I've called to tell you that I think your eyebrows are the cutest eyebrows that I have ever seen." Ino grimaced at her own words while all the other girls in the room were trying to contain their giggles.

After a short bout of silence, Lee said, "As grateful as I am for such a fine compliment on my own natural beauty, I have to tell you that I do not think of you that way. I apologize Ino-san that I cannot return your feelings. Not that I do not think that you are pretty or a great kunoichi. It is that the eternal flame of my love is dedicated to the beautiful flower known as Sakura-san. I hope that I have not hurt your feelings to irreparable measures, but I thank you for your compliment. Oh, no! I fear I have hurt your feelings terribly! To make up for it I, Lee, shall have to train harder! Yes, I shall run 3,000 laps around Kanoha and give every young girl a daisy as punishment. I have to go now Ino. I need to get started on collecting daisies and running my laps." And then Lee hung up.

Everyone was so surprised by the turn of event that all they could do for a while was sit there and blink. Then Tenten said, "I guess I should have expected him to react like that."

A half an hour later it was Tenten's turn. "Alright, Hinata, truth or dare?" Tenten asked.

"Um… T-t-tr-uth," Hinata stuttered as if afraid that she had given a wrong answer.

"Hhmmm… What is the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you?" Tenten asked. Hinata promptly turned pale and then blushed, only to repeat the process all over again.

"Come on Hinata. You don't have to be embarrassed," Ino said.

"Yeah, none of us will make fun of you or tell anyone about this," Sakura said.

"Yep, what happens at this party stays at this party," Tenten said while Ino nodded her agreement.

"Okay. Well once, before Naruto-kun had left with Jiraiya-san, I found a penny on the ground and picked it up. Naruto must have seen me because he asked, 'Hey Hinata, what'cha got there?' I was so nervous that I only showed him the penny I had found. He look at a while and said, 'Cool! It was made the same year that I was born' I looked at the penny and eventually stuttered out that I was born in the same year. To which he said, 'That's really cool. Hey, I heard that if you find a penny on the ground and pick it up you'll have good luck the rest of the day. I found a penny too, see.' He showed me a penny that he took out of his back pocket and then said, 'I have an idea. Since we both found pennies today, why don't we trade? It'll be kind of like trading luck.' So we traded pennies," Hinata said fairly quickly with both a healthy blush and a far away look in her eyes.

"Knowing Naruto though, you probably had the worst day of your life after trading pennies," Sakura said.

"Well, not really. While a bucket of fishy water was dumped on me causing all the cats in Kanoha to follow me around until Akamaru barked at them and I was able to dunk in a river somewhere, I did win several prizes for three contests that I never entered in," Hinata said.

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Time was coming closer everyday to the time in which he'd need to enact his part of the plan that Sasuke had thought out. Though now that he had time to really think the plan through all the way, it seemed lacking somehow. Naruto kept trying figure out what it was that the plan was missing only to be figuratively staring a blank spot. It's like looking at a shadow that you know you should be able to identify and yet are not able to. It was bothering him so bad that he eventually decided that to ask Iruka for advice, well in a round about sort of fashion he did. What Iruka told him was that Naruto should ask for help from someone who can plan strategies well. Since Naruto didn't want to bother Shikamaru about this, he decided to ask Kakashi instead.

When he got to Kakashi, he started trying to ask for advice in a round about manner, but Kakashi wouldn't have it. So after showing Kakashi the letter and explaining what he thought was wrong, Kakashi stood there stunned. Firstly he couldn't believe that Naruto kept this secret so well and for so long. Also he couldn't believe that this was the plan that Sasuke had left Kanoha for. It was a simple plan really, but Naruto is correct, this plan of Sasuke's contains a great many holes. After Kakashi got over the surprise of the situation, he told Naruto he'd think it over and will tell him what he comes up with.

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Sasuke was really surprised to find Naruto while he was taking his turn of border patrol.

"Shit, what are you doing here?" Sasuke hissed out.

"I need to tell you that the plan has been change a bit," Naruto whispered.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked while looking around to make sure that the others in his hasn't noticed that he isn't with them at the moment.

"Well, I kept thinking over the plan over and over again, and it seemed to me that there was something missing. So I asked Kaka-sensei for his opinion. So with Ero-sennin, Kaka-sensei, and I working together, we slightly changed the plan," Naruto said.

"Why'd you tell them? Is there anyone else you've told?" Sasuke asked in a fit of paranoia.

"Calm down, only those two know. Kaka-sensei was told 'cause I think he can keep a secret and well let's just say Ero-sennin was in the same genin team as Orochimaru was," Naruto said.

"So, he loves getting one up on Orochimaru," Sasuke finished. Naruto nodded his confirmation.

"Okay, hurry up and tell me the plan," Sasuke said.

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It really is a better plan than the one that he thought up all those years ago, Sasuke thought as he was leaving the dungeon. Naruto currently is "unconscious" in the dungeon; Sasuke really doesn't know if Naruto is faking or not. Right now, Sasuke is on his way to tell Orochimaru that he found Naruto on the outskirts of Sound.

Since Sasuke is going to tell Orochimaru that he hadn't asked why Naruto was where he was, Sasuke is going to find a way for it to be _him_ that interrogates Naruto. Naruto is going to purposely say something that will give Sasuke a chance to pass on a key when he reacts to what Naruto will say.

Next, both Sasuke and Naruto will wait for the signal from Jiraiya and/or Kakashi. It'll be a loud explosion of some sort. Jiraiya will be the first to make a big production of things and distract everyone, somewhere around the front gates of Sound. Kakashi meanwhile while cause a distraction in random spots. Meaning that he will have set up something to go wrong, like a broken water main, in one spot and then he will personally be somewhere else causing the last part of the distraction that is needed. After hearing an explosion, Sasuke is to meet Naruto, who should have gotten free by then, at the entrance to the dungeons. Before leaving Sound entirely, Naruto will do a mass production kage bunshin no jutsuto help in making distractions. Then together they will escape into the forest and meet Kakashi and Jiraiya outside the Northern Sound border.

There is a lot that could go wrong, but Sasuke is certain that it has a good chance to work. After all it isn't as if anyone is trying to invade Sound, their just trying to be a big nuisance and cause a lot of noise.

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_Hello everyone. I apologize that it took so long for this to get this finished. I had the hardest time figuring out how to end it. I hope that all of you have enjoyed reading this story as I have had writing it. Thank you for reading my story._

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto


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